Dear Bride and Groom,
I write this letter in order to let you know what is expected and usual in the Episcopal Church in regard to weddings.Ý First of all, Holy Matrimony is a sacrament of the Church.Ý It is important in the life of Christian people who wish to commit themselves to one another.Ý For this reason, we take the desire to make this commitment quite seriously. I have included in this packet several brochures for your use.Ý More are available if you should need them.Ý I would especially draw your attention to two.Ý First, Planning a Wedding in the Church and the second, Celebrating the Eucharist at Your Wedding.Ý
I find these to be very helpful.Ý The first one lays out several requirements that I must follow as an Episcopal clergyperson.Ý The most important of these are 1) at least one of you must be baptized, and 2) if either or both have been divorced then I must get a letter from the Bishop allowing me to perform the wedding.Ý If you divorce has been final for more than a year this is usually not a problem.Ý If not, we should talk and 3) I am required to spend some counseling time with you before the wedding.Ý Because of this, it is suggested that I be contacted at least 6 months before the wedding.
We will be having at least five one hour sessions together.Ý We will be discussing your life together as a couple, what it means to be married in the Church, and the service itself.
I hesitate to call this counseling as I am not a counselor.Ý I prefer to call it spiritual direction.Ý I require all that I journey with before marriage to take two inventories.Ý Niether one is a test.Ý There are no right or wrong answers.Ý The results of these tests will not be a reason by themselves for me not to perform the wedding.Ý What they will do is provide us with an outline of what areas we should spend out time discussing.Ý The first time you come to the office you will spend the hour alone filling out these two inventories.Ý We will then set a meeting two weeks after that date to begin the remainder of the sessions.
The inventories are:
1) The first is the Keirsey Temperament Sorter.Ý This is an abbreviated version of the Meyers-Briggs which you may have taken.Ý Please take this anyway.
2) The second is the Prepare and Enrich inventory which is a nationally administered and well documented inventory that looks at key issues in your life together as a couple and has been proven to be helpful in predicting areas of concern in your marriage.Ý This helps you as a couple, look ahead.Ý This inventory costs $35 to administer.Ý I do not receive any of this money.Ý You will receive a booklet as part of this fee that we will use in our sessions.Ý Please come prepared at the first session to pay this $35.Ý The check should be made out to Life Innovations.Ý If you have problems with paying the $35 please see me.Ý Do not let this stop you from taking the inventory.
You will find two small sheets enclosed.Ý One is entitled, Information Blank, Holy Matrimony.Ý You should fill this out and bring it to the very first session when you take the inventories above and turn this into the secretary or me. The second is the Declaration of Intention.Ý You both should read this and bring it to sign in front of me at our first meeting.
This is one of the most important events in your lives.Ý I want to make this preparation time as rich and rewarding as I can.Ý If you have any questions please do not hesitate to call me at 926-6339 or email at grickel@grandecom.com.Ý I look forward to walking with you on this part of your journey together.
Faithfully,
The Rev. Dr. Greg Rickel
Rector